When I was 17, my family suffered a crisis.
And because of it, I suffered from abandonment issues and low self-esteem. Instead of enjoying my late teens and early 20’s, I developed a serious fear of the world.
My thinking was that if I can get hurt by my own family, then the world would want to kill me.
For years, I went on living an empty and scared life. Rejecting any form of risk in dating, school, friends, and traveling. Little changed for me over the years.
Until I read this one book called The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.
That book opened my eyes to realizing that I was not the only one suffering from despair. Reading that book and realizing the personal achievement in overcoming severe obstacles made me aware of the power to overcome my mental obstacles.
And then from there on out, I went on to read countless books, make tons of new friends, start (and stop) projects, and most importantly, find a therapist to finally put to rest the low self-esteem and abandonment issues that were nagging at me for years.
I could have expedited my process of personal growth if I had a second-generation immigrant kid/nerd who was a little older giving me advice. Finding that 'older brother' figure would have meant a lot to me back then.
And with The Charismatic Nerd, that's what I am trying to accomplish. To be that 'older brother' figure to nerds and second-gen immigrant kids. To help them overcome the mental obstacles they are too ashamed to speak about.
In overcoming my mental obstacles, I rediscovered my love for war history. More specifically my love of Genghis Khan and his Mongolian empire. Honestly, I can’t figure out why I love Genghis Khan so much.
Maybe it’s the fact that he came from so much hardship as a child to be the ruler of one of the largest empires in history. It’s hard to say, but what fascinates me about Genghis Khan specifically, was how he used all the great traits in human psychology, learning, leadership, and wisdom for his not-so-nice plans. And to think that if he was able to overcome all his hardships in life and succeed, gives me hope that people can do the same. Mind you, in a less violent manner of course.
Because I am corny, this picture is an imitation of a photo of Albert Camus. Am I saying I'm like Albert Camus?... Maybe.
This is me pretending I just fired the artillery gun and covering my ears from the sound. I should grow up, but life is too short not to have fun
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