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Why it's time for a re-birth in your life

Edmond Dantes was a 19-year-old working-class sailor. But he became one of the most notorious nobles in all of France.

But how did such a transformation take place?

We all talk about wanting to change ourselves for the better, but we rarely execute on it. Yet, for Edmond Dantes, he did not allow his poor education and simple life experience to hold him back.

He was able to turn himself into a worldly individual.

And this re-creation all started when he was wrongfully locked up in prison. With not much to hope for, Edmond befriended another prisoner. But this prisoner was no petty thief and was, in fact, a well-educated priest. They spent countless hours together. The priest gave Edmond an aristocratic education.

By the time Edmond was out of prison and back in the world. He was no longer the ignorant sailor.

He set himself to become the Count of Monte Cristo.

Yet, this re-creation would have never happened, had back in prison, Edmond was not intentional about it.

Anybody can change themselves.

Regardless of their background, as long as they are intentional about it. And reading countless works, I noticed that re-creation is something common amongst heroes. And that it's a sign of human wisdom to transform ourselves like these heroes.

But why do we need to recreate ourselves?

This is a good question. If life is good and there is nothing to change, then why bother with something that is drastic.

Well, if I'm being honest, we all think we are doing fine to an extent. And it doesn't make sense to recreate ourselves out of the blue.

But let me tell you something.

When you choose to stay the same, you are going down the path of stagnation. Where things stay the same, with poor quality friends, bad habits, and lifestyle.

Then 50 years pass by and you are wondering why you didn't follow any of your goals/dreams.

Yet, when someone chooses to re-create themselves, they are asking themselves the tough questions.

Like what I want, who I want to become, how can get all this, etc.

Again, this is intentionality.

And with this intentionality, you go out into the world and mingle with it. So you can find the answers to your questions. This cycle gets repeated every so often because as you grow, your needs grow.

And this is a sign of growth.

Only a person who hasn't grown/matured would want things to stay constant in life.

So if you want to live a more engaging and authentic life, then you need to stay away from being the same and accept the challenge of re-creation.

Okay, how can we recreate ourselves?

Obviously, I'm going to mention therapy. And if you've been on my email list or YouTube channel, you know this already.

But, I'm going to offer non-therapy ways while you figure out how to get therapy.

One of the best non-therapy ways is to write down the type of person you want to become.

You need to have a clear image of who you want to be.

Reading fiction and biographies, all these characters knew what kind of persons they were to become.

This included Caesar, Musashi, Count of Monte Cristo, Themistocles, etc.

And once they had their clear image, they set out for the next important task: taking daily steps to reach their ideal self.

In their own ways, these figures found out how to get one step closer on a daily basis. Mind you, it's easy to think that these guys took huge daily steps.

But I assure you, that wasn't the case.

If you look at any great figure, they were rarely born great. They became it through their focused actions.

This reminds me of this great quote from Publius Syrus:

Fortune has no more power over our destiny than our own actions.

So if you are serious about re-creating yourself, you'll create your ideal image and take daily action towards it.

Of course, recreating ourselves is not easy.

If it were, then it wouldn't be a big deal. So as we commit to transforming ourselves from time to time, we need to be aware of the challenges.

Some of these include:

  • Poor quality friends

  • Bad habits

  • Too much internet consumption

  • No personal mission

  • Toxic home environment

I know there are a lot more, but I wanted to highlight these ones. Since they are simple (not easy) to fix and can hold us back without even realizing it.

So with spring in full effect, allow yourself to start blossoming and make some changes to your life.

Mind you, all this won't be easy, but you have the capabilities to do it. All these historical figures and fictional characters I mentioned were not special. They had focus and self-trust that sooner or later, they would turn themselves into something.

Always remember, being the person who you are today is a choice.

Okay, you're convinced.

But how can we commit to our new selves? Commitment is usually a challenge for most things. So how can we deal with it for our re-birth?

This is going to be a short answer:

Meditate on your death.

There is no other way that will get you to commit to the things that matter in life like death. To accept with brutal honesty that there will be a day you will no longer exist. That should give you the jolt needed to make changes.

And one more thing, always remember that you don't have as much time as you think have.

We never know when we are going to die.

We never know when the good times will end.

We never know when Fortune will strike.

Life is unpredictable.

So take advantage of your life and circumstances now. There is nothing worse than thinking you never took full advantage of your current blessings.

Wait, isn't recreating ourselves overboard?

Yeah, it might be.

But it's better to accept the challenge of making yourself into something than be okay with a stagnant version.

In my 20's I worked with adults 10-30 years my senior.

And I spent years working with the same group, and very few of them matured. That all sounds fine, but they acted bitter, powerless, and like victims.

I'll be honest, there is little value to always staying the same. If you look at nature, still water is not the one to drink. Rocks that don't move collect moss.

To get the most out of life, you can't stay the same.

You need to become whatever it is that is under all the inhibitions.

Because on your deathbed, do you think you will be content with being the same person after a lifetime? Or someone who re-created himself and lived one heck of a life.

If you're being honest, you know what the right answer is.

But enough talk, let's see an example.

One famous Greek general named Themistocles showed how re-creation works.

At one point in his life, Themistocles was doing good in life. So he would get drunk and spend time having fun with women. For most guys, this seems like a dream life.

But when a contemporary of Themistocles won a major battle. Themistocles saw how celebrated and respected this individual was. Someone who protected Athens from her enemies.

Themistocles took a hard look at himself.

And realized that the life he was living was sub-standard. It wasn't a life of respect, despite all the pleasures he was getting.

So he swore off women and wine.

And devoted to making himself worthy for Athens.

Which he went on to do.

Through his cleverness, Themistocles led a Greek coalition and defeated the mighty Persians. Putting an end to the Persians' invasion of Greece.

I know this is a dramatic example. But it's to show you that from living a life of sloth to one of respect and vigour is possible. So don't think you can't do the same.

A simple mistake in re-creation.

Forgetting why you started off in the first place.

Remember what I said earlier, re-creating yourself is backed by intentionality.

So you have to remind yourself why you are doing it.

Is it because you are sick and tired of being picked on?

Is it because you are sick and tired of being alone?

Is it because you are sick and tired of being directionless?

Whatever it is, remind yourself.

Because if you don't, then it's easy to fall back on your old ways. As Rollo May once said: use your past to remind yourself that you are not repeating the same mistakes.

So it's imperative to remind yourself why re-birth is important.

All these figures I mentioned had their reasons.

For Caesar, it was gaining the lost respect for his family name.

For Musashi, it was to live a more honourable life according to the Way.

For the Count of Monte Cristo, it was revenge.

And let's hop on the summary.

  • To grow in life, we have to be willing to re-create ourselves. Otherwise, we will stagnate and live an unfulfilled life.

  • The best way to start re-creating yourself is to write down the type of person you want to become.

  • When re-creating yourself, there will be challenges like poor friends, bad habits, etc.

  • The best way to commit to our re-creation is by reminding yourself of your mortality.

  • Re-creation is hard, but it's better than living an unfulfilled life.

  • A common mistake is to forget the reason why you re-create yourself.

Ramadan ended for me, and this time always feels like re-birth.

I hope you take yourself seriously and commit to transforming yourself. Life is all about re-creating yourself so that one day, after many years, you have perfected yourself. And if a poorly educated sailor can become a Count, who's to say you can't level up as well.

Until next time,

Bulcha Dolal

The Charismatic Nerd


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