So you're probably thinking?
What the heck am I smoking to say that we should care about what others think of us? It does seem counterintuitive.
You go online and see numerous videos talking about not giving a fudge about what others think. You see the thumbnails with a middle finger or the headlines 'Stop caring' or 'F People.'
And these videos and other related content get a lot of eyeballs.
And for a lot of years, I believed such content.
But after therapy, reading, and, most importantly, living my own life. I realized a lot of these not caring about what others think content is misguided.
The reason why is that, as humans, we are innately social beings.
Meaning that it's in our DNA to be social creatures. Since the dawn of man, we have been a collective. And to be an outcast was a death sentence.
So all this nonsense about not caring about other people's thoughts is difficult for us to live out. So it seems like we are damned to care about what others think or damned to be an outcast if we don't care what anybody else thinks. However, there is a more moderate approach.
Where you get the best of both.
But, let me bring in the sometimes mean but incredibly insightful intellect of Nassim Taleb to briefly describe this approach.
"Those who genuinely don't care what people think about them are sociopaths. More confident but normal people care about what only those people they respect think of them."
So here is the thing:
We will always care about what others think of us. And we can't fight that part of us. However, we can choose the people we respect and care about their opinions only.
People who don't have a sense of direction in life tend to care too much about what everyone thinks of them. Which is frustrating as one can never be good enough for everyone. But if this same person does not care what everybody thinks of them, they act like those fake Sigma males. Or you're a sociopath, and I can't tell the difference sometimes.
Again, moderation is the approach.
We have to take responsibility for knowing what kind of person we want to be and finding people we respect who can help us along the way. Because when we err and trust me, we will, they will voice their opinions, and since we take them seriously, it will help us get back on the track we want.
It's essential to know what you want in life and the type of people you want to be around. These go hand in hand. Rarely will you see someone who made it all alone with no support.
Instead, you will see someone who had a clear direction and had people who they respected to help them along the way
We have limited time, energy, and emotional investment in our lives, so we have to be strategic with who we choose to invest.
Now some people will ask how I find people whose opinions I can respect. You can watch my videos on building a social circle. But just remember this, figure out what you want in life (not what the media, red pill gurus, or money gurus, etc tell you), but what you want.
Once that is clear, engage with the world to make that happen.
Naturally, you will find similar people and build a circle of people whose opinions you can respect.
Like I say, guys, life is simple; people complicate it.
Until next time,
Bulcha
The Charismatic Nerd